Tag Archives: problems with new house

00.22 – Just checking in

12 Dec

This is my second night in my new house. Last night felt pretty strange and I did end up having a full blown panic attack at bedtime. Tonight as it gets closer to bedtime again I can feel the anxiety rising. I’ve taken my meds and some diazepam and thought I’d write a little update on here to try and distract myself a little bit while they kick in.

It’s been a crazy and very tiring couple of days what with throwing so much stuff out then three trips back and forth with the removal van on Monday night then went and stayed with my parents for the night as I had the carpet fitter coming early Tuesday morning so we just put all my furniture into the living room for the night on Monday. Of course nothing is going smoothly at the moment and when the carpet guy came on Tuesday morning it turned out that my nice carpet I’d only had for 11 months didn’t fit in my new bedroom 😦 I was so sure my bedroom in my flat was way bigger than my bedroom here so didn’t bother to measure it! So the carpet has been binned. I did get him to lay some wood effect vinyl in my kitchen though. So for now I’ll need to live with the laminate flooring that was already laid in here but it’s not in a veey great condition.

They still haven’t done anything about the dampness in the new house despite me first reporting it the day I signed the tenancy agreement which was the 25th of November I think. I’ve phoned numerous times over the past week or two to say the housing inspector put the job of replacing my missing roof tiles through as an emergency repair yet still no one has come grrr! What else was I going to moan about? Oh yeah… I couldn’t get my cooker into place because the cupboard to the side of it hasn’t been fitted correctly and slants at the bottom making the gap too small and I couldn’t fit my washing machine because there are no pipes to connect it to! They have arranged for a joiner to come out on Friday morning to adjust the cupboard so I can get my cooker in place although I’m contemplating just buying a new one from my catalogue that I can pay up weekly as my current one is a bit fucked. But as for the plumber to fit the pipes for washing machine or roofer to put tiles back on who knows when they will show up!

Anyways it’s taken me almost 45 mins just to type those few paragraphs as I’m using my phone (so apologies for any typos!) But I just wanted to check in and let you all know I’m here in my new house, I’m shattered from so much work that moving house involves, I’m still very anxious and feeling quite unsettled but I just have to hope that the more familiar this new environment becomes the less anxiety I’ll feel. Even the dogs seem a bit unsettled however they are loving having a garden to play in!

Ok I think I’ll sign off for now but I’ll update again soon when I’m a bit more chilled out xx

02:06 – Stress, anxiety, stress, anxiety, stress!

6 Dec

If I thought I was stressed out when I last posted I’m even more so now. I’ve managed to get my two uni essays finished and submitted in time so I’m glad they are over with even though they are both really crap but so long as they scrape a pass that’s all I’m really caring about to be honest. I now have an official moving date which is Monday. The parents have got a van sorted, I have got my brother and my best friend’s boyfriend to help with the heavy stuff and I’ve got a carpet fitter sorted. But I still have soooo much to do. I haven’t even started packing things into boxes yet but now that the essays are out of the way I can spend Fri, Sat and Sun getting my whole life packed into boxes and bagging up all the rubbish that’s to go to the skip.

There are a lot of problems with the new house, a lot more than what I first thought. At first I thought it was mainly cosmetic stuff that needed doing and once it was completely redecorated it would all be OK. But as it turns out there is a lot of damp as there are broken and missing tiles on the roof. We had such strong winds last night another two were off and lying in the garden today. There is a big crack on the outside of one of the walls that has come through into the bedroom and that wall which my Dad has now painted twice is not drying out properly at all because of it. The living room wall has a big damp patch as well. The property inspector finally came out today almost two weeks after I reported there being dampness in the house and thankfully he is putting the job through as an emergency which means that they will hopefully get the roof tiles fixed tomorrow so the dampness doesn’t get any worse.

I got a letter from the council telling me that they have suspended my housing benefit until I give them an official moving in date which is adding to the stress as I now have my current housing association on my case about rent arrears. I’m also trying to sort out having my mail redirected but my postcode won’t bring up the correct address on their system so I have to complete a form in a post office branch which was fine but they are asking for two forms of address ID which have to be within the last 3 months and I have changed to paperless billing for everything so that is stressing me out as well trying to get a couple of companies to quickly send me stuff out as it takes five days to set up which means I need to hang onto the keys for here for extra days so I can still get my mail. I also need to arrange for someone to come out from my current housing association to do an inspection so they can see I’ve not wrecked the place! And I still need to contact BT to have my phone line and internet moved as well. So yeah… lots to do and it’s all sending my anxiety levels through the roof. The next few days are going to be crazy busy and I’m just crossing my fingers now and hoping that this dampness situation can be resolved as I don’t want to be living in a damp house!

For some reason I’ve been getting a lot of urges to self harm again. There is no obvious reason for this, I think it’s because I am that stressed that I need something to ground me because my head keeps overthinking about all the what if’s and all the things I need to do then it speeds up too fast then it slows down too slow and I just feel as though I can’t think straight at all. One minute I feel OK the next I’m having a full on panic attack then my thoughts are racing and no matter how many times I try and have words with myself that moving house is a big stressful event and it’s ‘normal’ to feel really anxious it just doesn’t seem to sink in and I just feel like I’m getting closer and closer to losing the plot.

*deep breaths*

OK, I guess as it’s almost 2am I better think about trying to get some sleep. I’m tired yet wide awake. My head has been hurting all day but I think that’s because I forgot to take my morning meds and probably the stress mixed in with it too. So a good night’s sleep would be most welcome but it seems when I go to bed at the moment my heart likes to start playing funny buggers with me and doing that horrible palpitating thing then beating super fast for no apparent reason. Anxiety everywhere and all of the time! I just can’t escape it… argh! I’ve had a good dose of Diazepam about half an hour ago so hopefully that will do the trick to let me get some proper sleep tonight but so far I don’t feel much effect from them, think I may need to take a little extra one or two.

Goodnight folks x