13:01 – Maybe God is listening

21 Feb

Charlie dog was so ill his chances of survival post-op were tiny.

I listened to what the chitter chatter in my head said and I prayed like they asked me to. I lay on the floor and cried and begged for God to listen to me and save my Charlie dog.

He did.

The last few weeks I’ve been struggling so much with my studying and the chitter chatter told me what they’d like me to do so my prayers would be listened to. I done as was asked of me and then I prayed for God to help me.

The following day I managed to make an agreement to drop one of my modules so I could continue with the course but at a pace that would be easier for me.

He listened again.

The past couple of days I have wondered whether to go back and see new CPN, whether to write a letter of complaint about her, whether to go and speak to her and tell her how upset she had made me, I couldn’t decide which would be best so I cancelled for this week to give me more time to think.

Last night, in my prayers, I asked God to help me feel strong enough to phone her and explain why I cancelled the appointment. I went to bed with the intention of getting up this morning and getting the matter dealt with one way or another.

This morning the postman brought me a letter from new CPN which says:

Dear MCBL,

I am sorry that you could not attend your appointment today. I had hoped to speak to you personally to inform you that as I am leaving my post at the end of this week I will no longer be your allocated caseworker. Until my post is filled and you are allocated a new key worker (lovely social worker) has agreed to support you in the short term. I trust she will contact you with an appointment in due course.

May I take the opportunity to say that it has been a pleasure to work with you [patronising cow] and I wish you good mental health now and in the future [I bet you do… not!]

Yours sincerely,

[Crap] CPN.


He listened to me again and solved my little dilemma for me! 😀

Now my only hope is that lovely social worker actually does get in touch and offer me an appointment. Hopefully I could work with her until the nice psychologist I worked with previously returns next month, and not bother with another CPN. That’s three I’ve had now and they’ve all left! Two were on temporary contracts and then this one was supposed to be permanent but for whatever reason she’s leaving!

I am most definitely going to a church on Sunday. I have a few thank you’s to say to Him! It’s all working perfectly. I have some sort of dilemma or problem and then it spins round my head, my thoughts race around and then the chitter chatter starts up and now I’m realising that I don’t need to put my earphones in and my iPod up to it’s loudest volume to drown out the noise. Instead I need to sit quietly and listen to what is being said, listen to what they want me to do, do it, pray, and prayers might just be answered! 😀




One Response to “13:01 – Maybe God is listening”

  1. The Quiet Borderline (back in hospital) February 21, 2013 at 14:48 #

    Glad to hear all of these things worked out for you!

    Put in a prayer or two for me!

    I know this is most likely going wrong… By praying to God to either stop the suffering or take my life and let me die… I should probably just ask for the recovery and miss out the death wish stuff!!


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