My leg is still so painful and despite being on antibiotics since Friday for the infection in the wound I am sitting here ready to do it again.
The tears haven’t stopped, well that is a lie, I forced them to stop for an hour last night to go and see my parents as they had just got back from their Greek holiday and I wanted them to see I was still in one piece.
I am in one piece… just… one piece with lots of cuts trying to cut everything/myself/I don’t know what… into lots of little pieces that make more sense…
Sitting here just now knowing more pain is imminent, it’s going to happen because it’s built up to that level again, I’ve lost control over it and I hate myself for being so weak.
But I need the release too badly.