14:12 – When more pain is imminent…

25 Sep

My leg is still so painful and despite being on antibiotics since Friday for the infection in the wound I am sitting here ready to do it again.

The tears haven’t stopped, well that is a lie, I forced them to stop for an hour last night to go and see my parents as they had just got back from their Greek holiday and I wanted them to see I was still in one piece.

I am in one piece… just… one piece with lots of cuts trying to cut everything/myself/I don’t know what… into lots of little pieces that make more sense…

Sitting here just now knowing more pain is imminent, it’s going to happen because it’s built up to that level again, I’ve lost control over it and I hate myself for being so weak.

But I need the release too badly.


One Response to “14:12 – When more pain is imminent…”

  1. The Quiet Borderline (back in hospital) September 25, 2012 at 14:49 #

    Thinking of you my friend.

    Please try to keep safe. I know it may like you feel you don’t care right now but you have a future ahead of you and you have a lot of people that care for you.

    God forbid, that infection would spread and it could be life threatening. I know that deep down, like I, you want to live and make a life for yourself.

    Please look after yourself x

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