13:36 – Ramblings of the past few days

12 May

I mentioned in my last post that I was selling my current phone as I needed the cash and had bought a much cheaper one. I ordered the new phone on Monday and it had a “delivered within 3 days” guarantee.

So when it still hadn’t arrived yesterday (Friday) I was starting to get a bit pissed off. I went onto the couriers website and typed in my tracking number – to my surprise it came up saying it had been delivered at 08:37 that morning. It gave the name that had signed for it. It was a name I had never heard of before and to my knowledge didn’t belong to any of my neighbours. So I started getting really angry, it was about 11am and some stranger had my new phone and I started panicking I wouldn’t be able to locate it and would lose the £100 I had spent on it etc etc.

I decided to phone the courier company and ask what was going on, that’s when the big search began. They also could see it was marked as being delivered at 08:37 but they had an additional note at their end saying the parcel was picked back up at 09:25 and that a note had been put through my door as I hadn’t answered the door to the delivery driver. This was absolute nonsense, there was no note through the door and I had (annoyingly) been awake since 7.45am. My little dogs bark like mad when anyone comes near the door so there was no way I could have missed the courier. Now where I live is a rural area so by the time I had phoned the courier company and they had phoned the driver it was approaching noon and he was already in a little town about 70 miles away. I was told he couldn’t come back until Monday. I got extremely pissed off at this news and I insisted to speak to a manager. They got a manager to come and speak to me. I told him that his driver was a liar and incompetent, that he had failed to deliver within 3 days, that he had not left any card through the door to say he had attempted delivery, and the bottom line was that I was not waiting until Monday. He put me on hold for ages but finally came back with good news – he would send another driver to go and get my parcel and ensure it was delivered by late afternoon. At 5.05pm it finally appeared.

The problem is that I needed the phone to come on Thursday so that I could send my other phone to the recycle place and get the money for it in my account by Friday as I did not have a penny to my name. Thankfully I managed to loan a little from a friend until the money goes in my account (hopefully it will go in on Monday if I post the phone special delivery today). Then I need to use the money to pay a few things and people back. The new phone is pretty shit in comparison to the one I am selling, it feels so weird being back to a kinda basic model of phone. Well it is an Android and was supposed to be £170 but Amazon had it for £100 hence why I bought it, so it’s not totally crap, I think I can live with it until I’m due an upgrade at the end of the year.

As the title of this post says… ramblings of the past few days… writing nothing of any interest just babbling on.

I got a letter from the housing association today saying they were processing my application but in order to process it I had to explain why I’d ticked the box saying “access to my property is dangerous or awkward“. Well I didn’t tick it, my social worker did as she filled it out. For some reason letters and stuff make me panic sometimes, and I can’t just sit and think it will all get sorted in a few days.. instead it has to get sorted now so that I don’t sit and think and think and drive myself mad thinking about it. So I managed to get a message to someone in my care team about it and they are going to take care of it for me and write back to the housing association explaining why access is “awkward” for me.

Breathe. Relax. It will get sorted and be OK. Stop over analysing everything brain.

I picked up my second supporting letter for my housing application that my CPN had written and handed it in yesterday. As my application had already began to be assessed the woman in the office said she couldn’t find it there and then and would have to find out who was assessing it but she promised the second letter would be added in. So as well as an answer about why access to my property is awkward they should also receive the second supporting letter. I hope it all gets sorted soon, I hope that by the end of this coming week I’ll have a letter back telling me how many points I have been awarded and can take things from there.

And that’s my ramblings of the past few days. I have nothing at all planned for the weekend apart from watching the Britain’s Got Talent Final tonight. Exciting stuff, eh?!

[I can’t believe I have just written almost 900 words of shite]

OK so I was about to end my post there on a rather uninteresting but end of ramblings note. But my attention just got diverted to something people were talking about on my personal facebook. I don’t know how many of you have seen it (and trust me you don’t want to) but there is a video on YouTube of a Malaysian woman beating and battering her 8 MONTH OLD BABY. It is extremely graphic and really distressing. My blood is boiling and I have tears welled up for that poor little helpless child. Apparently she has only been jailed for 2 years… 20 years wouldn’t be long enough for what I have just witnessed. I think it might be one of the most heartbreaking evil things I have ever seen. If you do want to see it it’s here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxvIPuhPlU0 (You need to login and verify you are over 18 to watch it and I cannot express enough caution – this will really disturb even some of the most fucked up people on this planet) I keep replaying it in my head. I am crying because I know I would never have hurt my baby. I’m crying for both babies, mine and this precious little child. And how the hell could people stand in the background and film it – why did no one at all try and help that baby or stop her from attacking it? She hits, slaps, pinches, punches, throws, completely abuses this helpless baby. ARGH, no wonder I want to turn my back on this world so fucking often with cruel evil sick c**ts like that in this place, fucking everyone up from the tiny babies to grown adults. I know I’m rambling again. ARGH. An hour ago when I started writing this everything was OK-ish now I am filled with intense emotions.

I am calling on Lucifer to help me. He will make things right again.


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