14:02 – Another little mistake?

11 Apr

At some point over the last week or so, whilst my head has been firmly in cloud cuckoo land, it would seem I ordered tablets online. I know this because said tablets arrived in the post this morning. My order came from Japan this time, it was always India whenever I ordered any in the past. So I looked inside the package to find 3 boxes each containing 30 tablets with names I have never heard of before. After a considerable amount of time spent googling, I now know what they are, why I ordered them and that they appear to be ‘real’ tablets.

So now I have 90 of the little bastards and I am just sitting here looking at them, not to sure what to make of them. Do I want to try out 1 or 2 of them and see how they feel or do I want to neck the lot of them? I’m really not too sure where my head is at if I’m honest.

However… it is best friend’s birthday today and my charger has stopped working for my mobile phone and at the exact same time my house phone battery has decided it’s fucked as well. I’m not so bothered about that one, I’ve had my little pink house phone for over 6 years, it’s lasted well! So today I must go to the shops, buy a house phone and a mobile charger, buy best friend a birthday present, pick up my weekly prescription, pop into the tattoo place and see if the guy has a spare hour to do me a devil design down the back of my neck [branding initiation satan task] go and see best friend and spend some time with her and finally get home some time tonight.

Who knows what the night has in store…Where will my head be at by tonight…[?!]

Oh and in other news, I saw the addictions nurse yesterday, she came to my house to save me the anxiety of going out. I told her I had been out on Saturday night and made a big mistake when I was drunk – I text my [ex]-dealer. He told me to go round to his house but I was so drunk I could barely walk and I do remember leaving the pub then as if I was going to his house but I ended up coming straight home and falling asleep. So she was a little bit concerned that if I’m drunk or a bit ‘out of it’ on whatever then my triggers are still being triggered. I told her that when I realised what I had done the next day I immediately deleted his number from my phone. I did delete it before but he ended up texting me one night and I still had the message :/ Anyway… I didn’t take any drugs and his number is gone again… maybe I should get a new number as well but it’s so easy to bump into him in the street. I just need my willpower to keep me strong!

As for these little bastard pills, well I’m not sure what’s going to happen to them yet. They are no doubt another mistake, but it is from mistakes that we live and learn…


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