22:37 – A thorn in my flesh

22 Mar

I really don’t know what is wrong with me just now. I know something is wrong because I know I don’t feel ‘right’. I have continued to stay awake all day and this evening have been extremely emotional, I am constantly bursting into tears. I feel so drained and exhausted from voices and lack of sleep and having to be constantly alert to everything going on around me. I have been given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

New International Version (NIV)

7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

 

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One Response to “22:37 – A thorn in my flesh”

  1. Clarissa Smid March 23, 2012 at 00:06 #

    I’m not surprised that you are feeling like crying a lot – you are not well, my dear. It’s a real sign of exhaustion and depression that – especially so because you are hearing the voices again, which must make you feel utterly whacked. Are you taking your anti-psychotics at the moment? The more you write about these episodes, the more I think you probably need to have your quack assess what really ails you.

    Try to keep doing the breathing I suggested last night – extend it further, so breathing in on three and out on five, perhaps for 5 minutes and then four and six for five minutes, and so on. It will help

    tomorrow, though, even if you think you can’t bear it, I really think you ought to see your GP urgently. No-one can sustain the stress you are under, and nor should you. Ignore the voices; Satan isn’t controlling you – that’s just your feeling of paranoia as part of your illness. Focus on talking to the people that can help alleviate the problems you are having.

    Best hugs,

    C

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