It is daylight and I’m awake. The noise the workmen are making digging the road up woke me up. Maybe this is a good thing, if I try and stay awake now then I might have a chance of sleeping tonight and get day back to day and night back to night. But I feel anxiety rising in my chest at the thought of going outside or into any environment where people might see me. Then the paranoia kicks off again. Maybe I’ll try just staying awake but stay indoors watching TV and maybe even going for a shower. I could have a couple of Diazepam to try and calm things down before they get bad.
So that’s my goals for today: Stay awake, have a shower and walk the dogs. Easy enough…. right?