18:28 – A productive day!

12 Feb

I am a tired girl! My Mum came down early this afternoon and we spent the next three hours scrubbing work surfaces in the kitchen, scrubbing the floor throughout the flat, generally trying to make it look a bit more presentable! I’ve still got a good bit of tidying up to do but I have to admit it does make you feel better when you can look at a nice clean kitchen instead of one overflowing with dishes because you’ve got into such a mess you don’t know where to start.

I’ve got a lot of appointments this coming week, two tomorrow both at the drug and alcohol place, I really hope they will be proud of me for not using all weekend when they knew how triggering it would be for me. I have an appointment with the addictions nurse first and then my counselling session afterwards. When Mum was here today we had a chat about my use of heroin and she told me that much as she and my Dad love me if I start using heroin they won’t have me in their house because they wouldn’t be able to trust that I wouldn’t steal from them or something. It sounded extreme to hear but I see where they are coming from, had I continued on the path I was on then I would have become a ‘junkie’ and I no doubt would have behaved like one in time as well.

Mum says she just wants her daughter back and she hopes that me putting a needle into my arm was me at my rock bottom so that now the only way is up. I hope she is right. I do feel positive about starting the counselling and I want to give my Mum her daughter back again. Equally, I want my life back for me. I’ve spent so much energy in destroying my body that I can’t help but wonder if I put the same energy into getting my life back where I might be now.

And there’s only one way to find out… πŸ™‚

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8 Responses to “18:28 – A productive day!”

  1. sanityisknocking February 12, 2012 at 19:10 #

    What an awesomely positive post and movement forward for you. I’m so proud of you πŸ™‚

  2. Dyllan Tankgirl Mills February 12, 2012 at 20:28 #

    So so proud of you πŸ™‚
    You are an amazing person! despite your struggles in life.
    Don’t forget I am here for you! I care and love you!
    *hugs*
    Keep up the great work πŸ™‚
    x

  3. justdifficult February 12, 2012 at 23:02 #

    As they say in the film Avatar: “I see you.”

    You are so much more than the sum of your parts – so much more than all the sad things you’ve experienced. And there is so much happiness out there for you to have and to hold; just do the right thing and keep going to counselling, avoid unsavoury people and remember to notice the signs that tell you things are going awry before you go off track. You can do it and we’re all cheering you on, my lovely.

    Gosh you are so strong – we are all terrifically proud of you.

    Keep on up!

    X Clarissa X

    • Ian February 13, 2012 at 02:30 #

      I whole heartily agree x

  4. Ian February 13, 2012 at 02:28 #

    πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ ❀

  5. The Quiet Borderline February 13, 2012 at 09:08 #

    Good for you. You go for it.

    You should be very proud of what you are managing to do seeing your difficilt circumstances.

    It’s great you have the support from your mum there too. That’s brilliant.

    Feel good,

    The Quiet Borderline
    http://quietbpd.wordpress.com/

  6. MsLeftie February 13, 2012 at 09:43 #

    Good luck for your appointments!

  7. rainey February 14, 2012 at 01:15 #

    Be proud of yourself for every single accomplishment of every single day…even getting out of bed is something to be proud of some days! Keep it up, and keep blogging; it helps others more than you think…

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