00:16 back in the bin

17 Jan

Im back in the looney bin. I knew this was going to happen. I didn’t go to my appt with cpn woman today mainly cos i couldnt be fucked listening to all her shit. Anyway i phoned her and told her how suicidal i was feeling and she simply said to follow my crisis plan. I hate that fucking crisis plan its her answer to everything. I told her i wanted to die and would likely od again tonight so she said to phone my gp. Phoned gp who was lovely and told me to go see her, we chatted and i opened up to her about the drugs etc. She was so nice about it and didn’t judge me. We decided the bin was the safest place for me at the mo. So an ambulance brought me here and the on call Dr came to assess me, he was a total wanker with hardly any ability to use the English language. He took no notice of anything i said yet seemed to fill 3 pages while i sat in silence. I wish i had just bought more drugs and taken another od but im here now so will see what psych says tomoro if i see him. I hope i do, much as i dislike the man i hope to be able to express myself better to him. Im sitting in the day room we have 30 more mins, bed for 1am latest. Im wide awake despite 4mg lorazepam. I have a feeling its going to be a long night.

3 Responses to “00:16 back in the bin”

  1. jermec January 17, 2012 at 00:36 #

    Stay safe. I hope you actually get some help while you’re there, you never know.

  2. sanityisknocking January 17, 2012 at 02:27 #

    Wishing you the best sweetie. Glad you’re in a safe place. XX

  3. thisfracturedmind January 17, 2012 at 03:19 #

    alas, another one who can withstand large quantities of lorazepam with no sedating effect…be well my kindred

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