11:08 – Shattered

16 Jan

I think I fell asleep for half an hour til 5am. From them onwards I tossed and turned before finally giving up and getting up at 7am. I am completely exhausted, mentally and physically. I phoned at 8.30am to get an appointment with my GP today but she was already fully booked. I even asked if I could see one of the other doctors (which is something I never do because I always feel judged by the other two). I know I need some form of help I just don’t know which kind. I guess I thought the GP could both listen to me and maybe help me physically as well.

I’ve got CPN woman in a few hours and I don’t want to go today. I don’t see how it’s going to help in any way shape or form. It hasn’t done so far. I’ve also got the drug and alcohol place to go to after the CPN but right now I’m just so exhausted that I want to cancel them both and get some sleep. My body seems to be enjoying these games just now – turning my body clock back to front.

It’s now 11.25am how have I written so little in such many minutes? Blah, my head is fucked. So much more to say but absolutely no energy to say it.

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