23:53 – Xmas and stuff

29 Dec

I haven’t written anything for a few days, partly due to being busier than normal and partly because I don’t really know where I’m at (mentally). I stayed over at my friend’s house on Xmas Eve but couldn’t sleep, it was around 5am by the time I finally crashed, I find it so hard to sleep in other people’s houses. Then the kids were up about 8.30am so I spent Xmas day pretty shattered.

It was lovely watching the kids faces as they opened their presents and I was glad to be there, even if I did have a brief moment of looking up to the sky and wishing I had my little one here as well to see it all. I hope he could see it all from wherever he is up there in Heaven.

On Boxing Day my friend’s kids went to their Dad’s house for the next week so we decided to have a drink. When we ran out of drink we went to the pub, it was pretty quiet yet somehow we managed to get chatting to a couple of guys, I must have had the beer goggles on by then as I apparently snogged a guy who was most unattractive. Ah well, time to correct that on my next night out – New Year’s Eve – I can’t wait!

I really hope I might meet someone nice but busy noisy pubs aren’t the best place to meet someone I guess; but I’ve been thinking that actually I would quite like to start dating again. I will have been single for 3 years in February and that’s a pretty long time. I have however been speaking to a guy who lives near me online but we haven’t met in person yet. He seems really lovely so I invited him over for New Year’s Eve but he’s already made plans with family – typical!

I was supposed to go and see the psychiatrist today but quite simply I could not be fucked with seeing him or speaking to him or listening to him. I have the CPN tomorrow morning and really can’t be fucked with that either. I don’t want to see any of ‘teh professionalz’ right now, I can’t explain why because it sounds too fucked up. Trust me.

Anyway I hope you guys had a nice Xmas and that Santa was good to you all 🙂

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One Response to “23:53 – Xmas and stuff”

  1. The Quiet Borderline December 29, 2011 at 07:47 #

    Please see your support team. It’s so very important. You may feel like you can’t be bothered but it’s really important.

    Look after yourself,

    The Quiet Borderline
    http://quietbpd.wordpress.com/

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