I have to cut my throat. That’s what I’ve been instructed to do and after 24 hours of the same commands I unfortunately can’t take it anymore and have to do it. Don’t panic, I said cut, not slit. Not to die just to bleed some more poison out of me. I’ve had Olanzapine, Lamotrigine, Citalopram, Diazepam and Promethazine and still can’t sleep. My mood has dropped a lot today. I’ve stayed distracted all night actually being on twitter for the first time in a while and chatting kept me from doing the actual act. I don’t know if I can try and hold out til the morning – I just need another self harm release despite the fact that after Wednesday night’s events I’ve only just had the dressings off 5 days later and the glue is solid, they hurt like fuck but I enjoy the pain. I’m weak and it makes me feel stronger.
On a happier note here are some random images people have sent me that I thought I would share with you all…. goodnight x
Oh and goodbye October, hello November