I don’t have anything in particular to say for myself so I’m just pointlessly rambling here. I added some new music to my iPod this morning, I’m in love with the song “promises” by nero at the moment (the one I mentioned in post below) and also in love with Christina Perri especially her song Jar Of Hearts. Something about it resonates with me.
I saw my social worker yesterday, it was good to catch up with her. We actually used the session to do something practical and got my concerns about my rent sorted out. I had received a statement in, saying I was very much in arrears. But after some phoning around we found out what was happening and then it all made sense again.
I have been buying too many things off of amazon these past few days. Pointless and unnecessary things. I’m becoming an amazon junkie and need to cut my use down a bit. The only useful things I bought were the kids christmas presents (my best mate’s kids obviously). So I have bought all their christmas presents and birthday presents for January. I’ve bought a couple of little things for my best mate. I have still to buy for family but that’s because I refuse to buy a present for someone until they have specifically told me what they want. What’s the point in going out and spending say £50 on something that someone will never use/hates? Equally the people who drive me nuts are the ones who say “oh don’t get me anything, I don’t need anything” – well you know what, you’re probably right, you probably don’t need another perfume set or pair of socks or box of chocolates, but if you actually sat and thought about it then I’m sure you could think of a little thing you wouldn’t mind having. I know so many people say Christmas is either “all about the kids” or some religious mumble jumble – but to me it’s just exchanging some small gifts with family and friends who are just showing love for one another. That’s it. Simples.
I am realising this is the last Saturday I am going to be 29. It’s my birthday on Friday and turning the big 3-0 is a bit scary. I was a lot more freaked out about it a few months ago than I am now right enough. It just saddens me really that all the hopes and dreams and all the things I said back when I was 20 that I wanted to achieve by 30 haven’t happened. And it is a bit pants being single. It would have been nice to have had someone tell me they love me and someone to cuddle into on my birthday morning like on other “special birthdays” my 18th and 21st. Never mind, the doggies will have to do. I don’t really have anything planned for my actual birthday itself, but the next day some family and friend’s are coming out for dinner to a lovely restaurant, and then us “young ones” are getting dressed up Halloween style and going on a pub crawl. I am going as a devil. I know… I’m not very inventive.
I can’t think about anything else to ramble on about just now as although it is lunch time I have also been up seven hours now and am pretty exhausted, I need a bit more sleep I think.