After two nights of being unable to sleep, restless and anxious I finally went to a GP yesterday who prescribed me some promethazine (as she didn’t want to give me a benzo hello! I’ve been on diazepam for two years!) Anyway I went to the chemist to get them then just before the pharmacy was closing went back out and bought a box of sominex which are also promethazine… just 20mg instead of 25mg. So I had a few of them, a couple of diazepam, a proper promethazine and then another when I was starting to feel sleepy. And guess what? It worked!
I don’t particularly like the GP I saw. I will only see her on rare occasions and if I hadn’t managed to get another night’s sleep I would have been back in hospital as I felt as though I was really starting to lose the plot. Mr Psychiatrist phoned me and Ms Social Worker and seeing a GP seemed to be the best first step. But not-s0-nice GP was starting to piss me off as soon as she started all her “taking responsibility for you’re own actions stuff” – don’t get me wrong here – I’m a big believer in taking self responsibility even though I don’t always do it. But she was so patronising, going on about making safety plans for the weekend and how I was the only person who could keep myself safe blah blah blah. I know all of this not-so-nice GP, I just want to sleep before I end up killing you.
So in the end I slept, a decent-ish sleep. I think I only woke once and got about eight hours. Then another couple of hours early this morning. My friend had her halloween costume delivered here so I got woke up at 9am to sign for that and have just ordered myself a devil outfit. Boring I know, but it had sleeves and was cheap. If it’s crap I’ll return it and buy another one.
I’m meeting my friend in an hour or so, so I better go and have a shower. Why I’m even bothering I don’t know because it’s pissing down with rain outside.