After Monday’s review I said I wanted to come home. I still want to do the EMDR therapy but they have said I’ve got to have a couple of months of complete stability and then they will refer me for it. So my aim is to get to the New Year without any major mishaps but I have a feeling it’s going to be hard work. My first proper day at home – yesterday – was hard work. Just spending six hours in my best friend’s company really took it out of me and made me see how easy life is in hospital.
I feel OK being home. I have my support worker at 3.30pm today so at least I feel as though I have some sort of support. I think they are planning to set me up with a CPN as my social worker is quite simply too busy and my psychology work is going to have to go on hold until she has had her baby. She said she is going on maternity leave in February and will be back to work the following February. Am I going to do any sort of psychological work in the next 18 months or so? Who knows.
I know I can’t work with someone whilst watching their bump grow it would just be a total headfuck. I also don’t really want a cpn. I feel as though my care team has fallen apart. But I’m trying not to think about it in that way and just wait and see what happens.
It’s too early in the morning to write any more than this, I’m tired and don’t think I got enough sleep so I am going to try and get back to sleep for a bit. I only got up early to try and make an appointment with my GP but she is on holiday until Monday.