Tag Archives: xmas

17:55 – Just some random waffle

2 Dec

My Angel's Stone

The weather has been horrible today. I met up with my friend and the kids for a little while then went up to the little one’s stone. In this weather tinsel just isn’t going to stick around it grr. Anyway cos the rain was pissing it down the photo is a bit shit, hence why I have put arrows saying what each thing is. There is a little snowman ornament from my friend still to go on it and I’m going to get some little covered tealight candles to light it up a little bit.

I contemplated going to the pet shop and saying I’m really unhappy about the finches. I mean I paid £22.99 for the pair of finches then had to buy a cage so they did a deal with me for £50 for the finches and the cage they were already in (it’s in good condition but is second hand). So basically I gave them £50 for two weeks of listening to the little birdies chirp and now they’ve gone. I expected to get two or three years enjoyment listening to them, not two weeks - I don’t know if I should go in tomorrow and see if they will give me a replacement birdie, if not finches then a little budgie or something.

My friend would like me to go out to hers tonight but it’s so wet and dark and cold. I really don’t want to leave my sofa now I’m home! And it’s so cold in my flat, I don’t know why as the heating is on but I’m freezing and snuggled into a blanket. But it’s a Friday night and I feel very boring to stay in by myself so maybe I should just go out.

Ugh too many decisions.

12:56 – Dear Santa

1 Dec

 

 

Dear Santa,

All I’d like for Christmas is one more hold of my baby boy.

In February it will be five years since I had to say goodbye, almost five years with no cuddles and too much pain, almost five years with empty arms. I so desperately want to touch his skin again, count his little fingers and toes, give him a soft kiss on his forehead.

I want to blow raspberry’s on his tummy and hear his laugh. I never even heard his laugh or his cry. I want to make him laugh so much his little toes curl up and his legs kick about all over the place. In my dreams I can only imagine how ‘Mama’ might have sounded, in my dreams is the only place I can be with him again.

Today I am going to decorate my little man’s stone for Christmas, that’s all I can do for him now, keep his little stone all pretty and I will make it the prettiest stone ever.

Santa, I miss him so much, please make sure you visit him in Heaven and give him and all the angel babies lots and lots of toys for their angel’s playground. But, if I could have one more cuddle, it would make all my Christmas dreams come true.

:'(

Protected: 20:57 – I want to burn to a crisp

25 Dec

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Protected: 15:10 – Xmas off to a shit start

25 Dec

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Protected: 22:45 – I should still be in hospital

24 Dec

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Protected: 08:48 – 2nd year of xmas eve anxieties

24 Dec

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Protected: 14:56 – GP and Procyclidine anyone?

10 Dec

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Protected: 06:04 – Plans to return to hospital

10 Dec

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Protected: Xmas is over thank God!

26 Dec

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Protected: In hibernation for Xmas

25 Dec

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