I’ve been staying at my parents house since Sunday because of all the work they are doing on my flat. I went up yesterday after they had left and felt like crying; there was no floor just boards to jump across with lots of pipes running across the rooms. Every socket just had wires hanging from it, there was no kitchen, it looked like a bomb had hit it. I don’t know how I’m going to find the money to replace all my flooring It was my own fault; when I first moved in six years ago I had to request permission to lay wooden flooring and to be fair they did say in the letter back that should anything happen where it would have to be lifted then it would be my own responsibility to replace it. Some of it wasn’t in a very great condition so they have just thrown it out so I can’t re-lay it.
Staying at the parents is weird. This was my home and bedroom for many years but it feels strange being in someone else’s house. It’s nice not having to cook and getting all my meals made for me but weird that I have to tell someone where I’m going and when I’ll be home and stuff. I do just come and go as I please but… I don’t know… I just want to go home really.
Today I went for ear acupuncture for the first time. It is supposed to help with mental wellbeing and clarity. It was an interesting experience where we sat with our eyes closed listening to relaxation music with five little needles in each ear. It was very relaxing but far too early to tell if it works. It’s run three times a week and it’s free of charge, the guy running it said if I go two or three times a week I’ll start to notice the benefit of it fairly quickly. I think I will go back on Friday and give it another shot.
It’s been a busy day for me, it’s felt like one appointment after another. Tomorrow I might go along to a little group called the women’s support group where you get a chance just to chill out with other women who have been affected by drugs or alcohol and have a chat and a cuppa. The other girl who was at ear acupuncture said if I go along then she’ll go along so I might as well give it a try. It’s always nice when you know you have somewhere to go where you don’t feel so alone with your cravings and urges. I should really start going to the little club for people with mental health problems but I guess I kinda get sick of talking about my craziness.
I have an appointment soon with my GP for more medication. I am increasing my dose of Quetiapine (Seroquel) today and decreasing my Lamotrigine (Lamictal) again. In another month or so I should be completely off the Lamotrigine and then we’ll need to look at another mood stabiliser I guess.
So that’s where I’m at at the moment. Hopefully my flat will be finished either on Friday or Monday, I just really hope they tidy it up a bit before they go, it’s completely non habitable at the moment. Everyone keeps saying think how nice it will be when it’s all done – eventually it will be yes. But first it’s going to need redecorated from all the holes in the walls and re-floored. I think if I’m going to lose my driving license anyway then I might as well sell my car and use the money to sort my flat out. We’ll see how it looks when it’s finished. Hurry up and let me home workmen!!