I have been wanting a kitten for months now but there have been none for sale/free to good homes in my area the whole time I’ve been looking. A couple of days ago I saw a little black cat called Tiff who is 15 months old but her owner was no longer able to keep her. Now – she isn’t a kitten which I wanted, she is pure black when I wanted a tabby or tortoiseshell, and her owner lived down one of the big scary roads that I haven’t attempted in years. The round trip was about 100 miles.
Something made me want Tiff and I phoned the owner and explained my situation about the agoraphobic stuff, to my surprise her husband suffered from it as well! So she completely understood and instantly I felt the pressure on me drop. I told her I was going to try and get there and set off with best friend and her two little kids in tow, I took only a small amount of Diazepam and plugged my iPod into my stereo so I could listen to music whilst I was feeling OK, but change it to the mindfulness tracks when I started panicking. We had one episode that lasted about 20 minutes where I had to keep the woman just telling me how to breathe, if anyone had looked at me they would have thought I was in labour as my full focus was on my breath.
But it worked! And eventually we got there! And because I made it there and back I no longer feel like the massive huge failure I felt for not being able to get to the dermatologist on Monday.
So before I go I just have one last thing to say and that is – meet Tiff! – I need to take a better photo of her but I interrupted her cleaning routine to get this photo so I’ll wait ’til she is curled up later. And the best thing is she has been in a house with dogs so she will come and sit on my knee and let the dogs play with her. She is starting to come out of her shell now and I think she’s going to be really happy here!