20:44 – Same old… same old…

6 Mar

Today I’ve been hiding away from the world most of the day. I got up early to phone for an appointment to see lovely GP – we have a stupid system where you have to phone on the morning and you get an appointment that day but there are hardly any appointments and they all go within ten minutes. I did actually phone a fortnight ago to book an appointment for today but there were none available. So as all I really needed was my repeat prescription I just asked if they could sort that out and I’d collect it later.

I spent most of the day doing nothing. No concentration again meant I got nowhere with studying and gave up after about an hour. I really could be doing with having a shower as we are now on Wednesday night and the last time I had one was Sunday I think. I did plan on having one this afternoon but it didn’t materialise. I’ll have one tomorrow morning before going to an appointment with lovely support worker from Rape Crisis and with lovely social worker. I always seem to freeze up at appointments where there is more of them than me and find them hard to talk in; but I keep reminding myself it’s just an informal chat about where I’m at just now and I think support worker would just like to meet someone who has worked with me with mental health stuff – maybe she has questions, I don’t know. I know she is pretty clued up on self harming but maybe I worry her sometimes when I talk about the voices. I’m not too sure yet what’s going to happen with regards to seeing social worker again until the psychologist starts back in a month or two but even if she could see me fortnightly or something that would be good. Just someone to touch base with and know there is someone there if I need it. So, little bit worried about the three of us meeting up tomorrow but I’m sure it will all be ok.

So yeah the only thing I did today was collect my weekly prescription. They made a little mistake and for some reason gave me a month’s worth of Mirtazapine instead of a week’s worth – lovely GP must have forgot to mark it as a weekly dispensed med. I think I can be trusted though.

Well after that enormously long rambling post yesterday I don’t really have much else to say for myself today. All the other stuff is just same old, same old.

And so I shall leave you on this cheery note, a poem I rather like.

The Age Demanded

BY ERNEST M. HEMINGWAY

The age demanded that we sing
And cut away our tongue.
The age demanded that we flow
And hammered in the bung.
The age demanded that we dance
And jammed us into iron pants.
And in the end the age was handed
The sort of shit that it demanded.
 ©

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