I have gym in an hour from 2-3pm. I have absolutely no motivation at all to go. I know it will be fine when I get there but getting there is the problem. There are people in the stairway, I think they are painting or something, I can’t see them from my peep hole so they must be on the level above or below me. I feel panicky at the thought of having to walk past them. I also feel panicky about being in a group environment today; that’s kinda how the gym is, although we all do our work out’s individually there is a gym instructor who goes round “encouraging” us to do another five minutes and another five minutes.
I think I will take my iPod today, you can either listen to it as you work out or all the machines have a TV screen built into them so you can just plug your headphones in and watch some TV, but TV is crap mid-afternoon.
I am annoyed with myself because last night I caved in on my low carbing after 4 weeks of sticking rigidly to phase 1 of it, I end up eating a slice of cake last night. I bet I have put weight on since I last weighed myself on Thursday at the gym. One slice of cake has probably screwed up my weight loss over the past 3 or 4 days. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.
I really really really need to read uni stuff today, I am about a week behind, I realised yesterday I’m further behind than I thought. And I need to force myself to get back into the swing of daily studying but it is so damn hard when your head is going a million miles an hour and can’t seem to fit enough thoughts into a day let alone proper thoughts about how much I NEED to start reading those books or I am going to end up failing.
I have to go and walk the dogs and then go to the gym. Maybe after an hour’s work out I’ll be able to work out how I’m feeling – either more awake and able to do some studying and concentrate for a while – or more tired in which case I’m coming home to try and get a few hours sleep. I’m past caring what time of day it is that I get some sleep at, if I can sleep then I will. I avoided the supermarket completely yesterday because I just couldn’t face lots of people, so I just went to the local shop instead and because they don’t sell the types of food I need on Atkins, I decided I’d just have a big huge slice of cake instead. Very smart move…. not.
Blah it’s now 1.20pm and I have only forty minutes in which to have a shower, tie my hair back, put my gym clothes on, walk the dogs and then get to gym. I just cannot be bothered with anything today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me I’m just in a very irritable mood today.