21:35 – OK, it was never a friendship, but it still fucking hurts :(

9 Sep

OK, so I’ve had a couple of drinks, and I am feeling emotional. And yes maybe I’m being stupid. I’ve just sat and cut myself, I get no answer from words, and I’ll get no answer from blood. But it helped. This is all dedicated to someone who was not a friend, not a guy, just someone who had a huge influence over my life and has now gone. They no longer care, they have walked away, each time I see them now I am always going to know that they never cared enough to acknowledge my feelings, to reassure me I was wrong, did they cross a line by becoming so close to me, I would have confided my entire life in them. They spent endless hours being by my side, listening to my worries, helping me see things in a clearer light. I should never have got so close in the first place, I should know by now people always walk away from me in the end. Friends, guys, and this person too. They all go away in the end. Things were so good, I was so comforted by this persons presence for such a long time. But now, for whatever reason, things have changed, they have gone and I’m left like a broken piece of the puzzle, not fitting in anywhere anymore, not important enough to be repaired and slotted back in, just left to watch from afar as they give everything they have to others… anyone but me.

 

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