I was so ill yesterday I can’t even put it into words. I had a massive dissociative episode. I don’t really feel like writing on here how or why it came about but it was extremely unpleasant and left me very very confused.
I have flashbacks today of vomiting a lot, blood pouring into the toilet and realising it was coming out my nose, trying to walk the dogs in the dark and vomiting violently into the bushes, an old man asking if I was OK and freaking out screaming at him to get away from me.
I saw my CPN this morning and told her about it. I also ended up with two second degree burns on my stomach where I had obviously been smoking and thought I had an ashtray sitting on me but had just sat them on my top, burning through my top and through my skin. CPN advised me to go to a&e and tell them what happened. I went to a&e and was in there for hours. They did urine tests, found blood in my urine, the doctor came and did all my obs which were ok, I was just so confused and could remember hardly any of yesterday just these horrible flashbacks of being so unwell.
The doc put me on a course of antibiotics for the blood in my urine. The nurse treated the burns on my stomach. They were quite concerned I had dissociated to such an intense level and was experiencing such horrible flashbacks. I was put on an ECG machine to check my heart was beating OK and the doctor checked me over externally to see if I had done myself any other damage. Thankfully I hadn’t.
It is a real shame it happened because I had a really good day on Wednesday, I met up with best friend and we went a drive away to the middle of nowhere to a little village for some fresh seafood in a lovely restaurant right on the quietest prettiest little beach. We also went to visit her Aunt and to the cemetery out there where her Grandpa is buried.
This is the view from the restaurant:
I was supposed to be going out tonight with the girls but I can’t really afford to and I’m also still feeling very sensitive from yesterday. Also I am on anti-biotics so drinking wouldn’t be the best of ideas.
I’m a very mixed up and confused girl today. I can’t believe it was all my head, there were other factors involved that I shall perhaps go into more detail about another day but for now I just want to sleep and sleep til I feel back to myself again.