Yesterday actually went past quite easily. I took a lorazepam just before my Dad got here and thankfully he decided to work on the bedroom and hallway so I could just laze around in the living room without being disturbed for most of the day. I took the doctor’s advice and spent the day watching the Olympics – nothing ‘emotion provoking’ and then later in the day my brother came down with a bottle of Amaretto for me he’d brought back from his recent holiday to Venice and a little Murano glass ornament which is really pretty.
Around 6pm my dad and my brother went home and I had a night of just chilling in front of the TV. I feel as though that’s all I did yesterday but I think that’s what my head needs right now – not too much stimulation – just lying quietly half watching things and not really thinking too much.
It looks like that’s what I’ll be doing today. I’ve got up, had a shower, got dressed, took the dogs a walk in the rain and Dad is coming down in about half an hour to do more painting in the bedroom and the hallway. He is going to do the living room next weekend and hopefully by then I will feel a bit more like going out and doing something for the day. The weather today remains rubbish so the Olympics is back on the TV – Great Britain have been doing quite well this year – I really don’t like tennis but I enjoyed watching Murray win the singles yesterday, looked like a great atmosphere there.
So that’s where I’m up to today, just another day to get through and another day to get through tomorrow then on Wednesday I see the psychiatrist and will tell him how unstable I have been feeling lately. I was honest with my Dad yesterday and told him that much as I don’t want to walk the path of going back into hospitals or hurting myself, my head had been particularly crazy the other night and I’d had to see the out of hours doctor and get some Lorazepam. I think that’s another reason why he’s going easy on me and not asking me to help very much, just leaving me to lie in here and watch TV. I’m more of a hindrance than a help anyways so it suits us both.
My flat is starting to look much nicer already, I hope it won’t be too long now before I’m offered a housing transfer.