17:33 – I have some news to share

11 Jul

!!!!!!   I GOT ACCEPTED   !!!!!!

From the end of August/beginning of September I will officially be a student on the BA (Hons) Child and Youth Studies course. I can study for one year up to four years depending on what qualification I want to leave with and how things will work with regards to claiming benefits after year one. Here is what I’ll be studying:-

Year 1 – Cert HE:- Introduction to Child Development; Introduction to the Early Years Curriculum; Continuum of Development; Health and Life Chances; Specialist Provision; Research Methods 1; Personal Effectiveness and Study Skills; Family Studies; Provision for Children.

Year 2 – Dip HE:- Child Development 2; The Impact of Early Childhood Experiences on Adolescence; Research Methods 2; Recognising and Challenging Discrimination; Play and Childhood; Care and Control; Providing a Curriculum for Life; Principles and Foundations of Health Promotion; Working in Partnership; Contemporary Issues; Rural-Urban Divide; Specialist Provision; Optional elective modules available on request.

Year 3 – BA:- Legislation and Childhood; Issues of Risk; Doing a Literature Review; Ethical Issues; Applied Social Research; Health Improvement and the New Public Health; The Acquisition of Language; Issues of Work and Leisure; Alcohol and Drugs; Introduction to Effective Management and Leadership; Learning in the Classroom; Promoting and Enhancing Parenting; Optional elective modules available on request.

Year 4 – BA (Hons):- Comparative Childcare 1; Dissertation [DOUBLE]; Comparative Childcare 2; Professional Issues 1; Professional Issues 2; Comparative Health Studies; Developmental Disorders; Understanding Crime, Culture and Society; Abnormal Psychology; Social Inclusion/Exclusion, Issues and Debates; Disability and Society; Optional elective modules available on request.

The interview lasted almost 90 minutes and I was struggling at times to come across as an articulate and intelligent individual. I was open and honest about my mental health problems but it didn’t seem to be an issue for the head of department who was interviewing me. Most of the course I can study at home but will have to go into the local college for important seminars and to sit exams twice a year. This is so exciting and so scary, will I be able to do it?

Now for the bad news, I am still feeling extremely suicidal and today when I collected my weekly prescription I just wanted to take the whole lot of it. But I had sent a text to my mum saying I was accepted onto the course and I have the comedy gig that I’ve so been looking forward to tomorrow night and my Mum wants to take me for lunch on Saturday to celebrate me getting onto the course.

Why oh why do these feelings of utter shittiness still have to be swirling around my head? I have an opportunity here now, something to really better my life and lead me to a career that I know I would love, so why the fuck do I keep hearing those little voices chitter chattering away ‘just do it’ ‘just take them’ ‘just end it’ ???

Well I wanted to make this a really good news post but as always there has to be an element of crappiness as well. But yeah, somewhere deep down I’m proud of myself. I wasn’t sure if I could convince them to give me a place and I’ve got what I set out to get. Everyone is so proud of me and I guess I owe it to them to try and be proud of myself as well.

6 Responses to “17:33 – I have some news to share”

  1. Zoë Smith July 11, 2012 at 17:54 #

    Excellent! *happy face*

    Shit… *sad face*

    I’m proud of you, don’t off yourself. Keep on keeping on, I know the mentals make everything difficult but you’ve got this far.

    Xxx

  2. Ian July 11, 2012 at 18:09 #

    Congratulations….a momentous leap forward…I am so pleased for you…as for the voices hopefully our words of praise can drown the out a little :-) I wsh I could grab hold of them and give them a good shake…god knows ive wanted to do that to you from time to time haha! Seriously though well done xxx

  3. mycrazybipolarlife July 11, 2012 at 21:25 #

    Ian you are welcome any time to come and give the voices a good bloody shake!

    Zoe you’re so right, the mentals do make everything so difficult but maybe once I get started on the course and meet the others doing it (who don’t know about my mentalisms) I’ll be able to have one place in my life where I’m just seen as a normal.

    God it’s been a long time since I’ve been one of those!

    Thank you both :) xx

  4. The Quiet Borderline (back in hospital) July 12, 2012 at 18:18 #

    You should sure be proud of yourself! Congratulations!

    Take the good with the bad, nothing is ever perfect so don’t worry about other sh*ttyness going on.

    And no overdosing, please! You are worth do much more and then some!

    Well done you. I aspire to you I really do.

  5. EscapingEntropy July 15, 2012 at 00:18 #

    Congratulations! You’re brilliant! I find studying can keep the mentalz at bay, hopefully it will do the same for you :-)

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