It is daylight and I’m awake. The noise the workmen are making digging the road up woke me up. Maybe this is a good thing, if I try and stay awake now then I might have a chance of sleeping tonight and get day back to day and night back to night. But I feel anxiety rising in my chest at the thought of going outside or into any environment where people might see me. Then the paranoia kicks off again. Maybe I’ll try just staying awake but stay indoors watching TV and maybe even going for a shower. I could have a couple of Diazepam to try and calm things down before they get bad.
So that’s my goals for today: Stay awake, have a shower and walk the dogs. Easy enough…. right? :/
I wanted to remind you of this:
http://mycrazybipolarlife.wordpress.com/2012/02/12/1828-a-productive-day/#comments
You can do better than this girl. Call someone and get on this before it gets worse.
Please reach out for help that you really need and deserve.
All the best,
The Quiet Borderline
http://quietbpd.wordpress.com/