I have made contact with a rape crisis centre about doing some voluntary work and have an appointment on Wednesday to go and see the centre and talk about the volunteering opportunities available. The woman sounds really nice and very welcoming in her emails to me. They do a young person’s service as well and that’s the bit I’m hoping to be able to get involved in as one day I would love to be a youth worker and help them with some of the stuff I’ve experienced – abuse/self harm/drugs/alcohol – etc. And I’m quite sure that young people involved with the young person’s service must already be experiencing some of those things as well. I don’t know why, but I think I could do this and actually be good at it. I’ve wanted to do it for so long now so I’m nervous but looking forward to meeting her.
My other news is that I have quit the amisulpride. I had enough of it by Friday and the restlessness it was giving me even at a 200mg dose so I have asked to see the psych on his outpatient’s clinic this week, don’t know if he’ll be able to fit me in this week but the voices are getting pretty bad. They aren’t so much talking amongst themselves just now as they are talking to me with directions and commands. I found some Quetiapine in the baby doses 25mg in the cupboard and have started taking two of them again at night, I really don’t care what the psych says, if he lectures me for it, I needed something to help me sleep and be less restless. Anyway I only have one strip of them.
And the two things I’ve mentioned above are what’s worrying me. How much of my mental health to disclose the first time I meet them? I’m happy telling them I have agoraphobia just in case they would need to send me anywhere for training or something. Social worker says I don’t need to tell them anything, just go and listen and ask general questions about the role. That’s what I want to do but I always feel like I’m hiding something from people if I don’t volunteer the information to them; but equally I want them not to judge me or think about how someone with mental health problems might not make a good volunteer so I shall try and find a happy medium.
I really need to see the psych, I feel like I’m going a bit bonkers with all these voices getting louder and louder.