11:57 – Some sleep at last & not-so-nice GP

15 Oct

After two nights of being unable to sleep, restless and anxious I finally went to a GP yesterday who prescribed me some promethazine (as she didn’t want to give me a benzo hello! I’ve been on diazepam for two years!) Anyway I went to the chemist to get them then just before the pharmacy was closing went back out and bought a box of sominex which are also promethazine… just 20mg instead of 25mg. So I had a few of them, a couple of diazepam, a proper promethazine and then another when I was starting to feel sleepy. And guess what? It worked!

I don’t particularly like the GP I saw. I will only see her on rare occasions and if I hadn’t managed to get another night’s sleep I would have been back in hospital as I felt as though I was really starting to lose the plot. Mr Psychiatrist phoned me and Ms Social Worker and seeing a GP seemed to be the best first step. But not-s0-nice GP was starting to piss me off as soon as she started all her “taking responsibility for you’re own actions stuff” – don’t get me wrong here – I’m a big believer in taking self responsibility even though I don’t always do it. But she was so patronising, going on about making safety plans for the weekend and how I was the only person who could keep myself safe blah blah blah. I know all of this not-so-nice GP, I just want to sleep before I end up killing you.

So in the end I slept, a decent-ish sleep. I think I only woke once and got about eight hours. Then another couple of hours early this morning. My friend had her halloween costume delivered here so I got woke up at 9am to sign for that and have just ordered myself a devil outfit. Boring I know, but it had sleeves and was cheap. If it’s crap I’ll return it and buy another one.

I’m meeting my friend in an hour or so, so I better go and have a shower. Why I’m even bothering I don’t know because it’s pissing down with rain outside.

4 Responses to “11:57 – Some sleep at last & not-so-nice GP”

  1. The Quiet Borderline October 15, 2011 at 17:46 #

    Glad you got some well deserved sleep.

    Hope you are doing ok.

    The Quiet Borderline
    http://quietbpd.wordpress.com/

  2. Fiona October 15, 2011 at 20:47 #

    thank goodness you got some sleep !! i was wondering if i could ask you about diazepam, i have agoraphobia, panic disorder along with GAD and only take diazepam. Not every day, sometimes i go for 2wks without it, then other times i have to take 2-4 mg a day. I have been taking it for 6 months. Have you found it works lesss effectively over time? Just wondering because mine seems to still be working the same, the doc says it shouldnt be:-/
    HUGS xx

    • mycrazybipolarlife October 16, 2011 at 09:32 #

      I also have the dreaded agoraphobia and accompanying anxiety, that’s my doctor’s reason for prescribing it. When I used to just take it here and there (twice a week at most) then I would notice the calming feeling at around 5mg. But then this time last year I went into a psychiatric hospital and with it being 2 hours from home I was a mess. So they moved me on to 20mg a day (5mg 4x day). As the months passed it starting wearing off a lot quicker and now when I’m in extreme anxiety I can take stupidly high doses and not calm down. I’m currently supposed to be on a diazepam reduction program but have only managed to drop down to 18mg a day just now. 4mg morning, lunch and dinner and 6mg at bed time. If you took yours every single day then you would probably find it wouldn’t be so effective any longer, but it’s great that you can put time between your doses – even if you have to take it a few days in a row and then don’t take any for a week – that is still much better than taking them every day as that’s when they not only stop being effective but also addictive :( Hope that helps and all the best xxx

      • Fiona October 16, 2011 at 09:39 #

        thank you so much for your help !!! I REALLY appreciate it, i have been asking my doctor, and he wont give me answers and just gives me a prescription, and its especiallly hard as the docotors is my scariest place in the world to go! ill keep trying to use it on my worst days, and then keep a few days or week between when i can, Thanks again and stay well xxxxxx

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